The Anti-Empire of Freelandia is an autonomous nation created on 7 July 2017.
Freelandia does not base itself on control of land ownership, but rather subscribes to National Autonomy.
Freelandia's official motto is "To live is an act of rebellion."
- The Imperial Family: Emperor Phollop!
- Royalty: Lords and Ladies, Counts and Countessess, Dukes and Duchesses. Royalty is granted exclusively by the Imperial Family.
- Nobility: The officers of the Royalty. Given the simple title of "Noble", they may occupy government posts. The Papacy and other Churchmen are considered Nobility.
- Knighthood: Warriors of Freelandia. Knighthood is extended exclusively by the Imperial Family.
- Patricians: Stewards of physical resources in Freelandia. Patricians have two votes in Court and Council matters.
- Citizens: Citizenship is earned in Freelandia. It may be granted by Royalty or the Imperial Family. Citizens may vote in Court and Council matters.
- Indentured Servants: Any Freelandian may be demoted to indentured servitude for a time as payment for transgression against the Imperial Family. Once the set time is up, they regain their citizenship.
- Slaves: All newcomers to Freelandia begin their life as a slave. Slaves may not be stewards of property or vote, but they are free agents who may do as they please within Freelandia.
National Autonomy: Our Governing Philosophy
national autonomy (n): a nation consists primarily in it’s citizens. This is alternative to defining a nation through borders, property, violence, or force.
National Autonomy is the concept that a nation consists primarily in it's people and not in it's non-living assets, such as land, resources, etc.... Culture for any nation is derived from the people.
A redefined social contract is proffered wherein an individual citizen is autonomous by natural law.
Each person is a free agent unto themselves, a Divinely-and-naturally-given inherent quality.
And of course free agents can agree with one another on subjects various, and none have right to interfere with that transaction.
Citizenship cannot be forced upon an autonomous individual, even if he grows up in that civilization.
It may be granted, proffered, or restricted, but never forced. A nation that forces citizenship cannot be said to be a nation at all, but instead constitutes a hostile state. Hostile statists are the ultimate enemy of a nationally autonomous citizenship. Statism is, by very definition, hostile to national autonomy.
Free individuals all over the world derive their identity from a variety of sources, like their religion, tribal identifications, geophysical location, genealogy, and initiations. We all voluntarily choose to partake in these things for mutual benefit.
Citizens can engage in as many free contracts as they like, so long as they do not deprive other citizens of their ability to do so as well.
Each citizen of an autonomous nation has an interest in mutual defense of one another to maintain the quality of life and liberty.
Property has value only because of it's citizenry. We can deprive a citizen of their property, and the citizen will still have value and their national identity remains, but we may never deprive property of its citizenry and expect to have that property maintain value.
An anti-republic is defined as a nation in which supreme power is held by no one and one or more unelected representatives, and which has an unelected and powerless executive. The notion of an anti-republic is very closely related to national autonomy (see above). The philosophy is heavily inspired by the thoughts of Plato, Peter Kropotkin, Murray Rothbard, John Locke, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Radical Catholicism, and others.
The name comes from the Classical Latin a res publica, meaning "not a public matter".
As of 2017, Freelandia is the only anti-republic in existence. Freelandia acknowledging itself as a non-republic is an exercise in absurdism a la Albert Camus: there is a group of people that identify as Freelandians and by all modern Western political thought should be able to self-determine as a free and independent nation and, if so desired, a freely formed state. However, this will never be allowed to happen, as existing powers - both Eastern, Western, and Third World - have a greedy self interest in preserving their own supposed power despite the fact that Freelandia does not now and never will lay claim to land, labor, or currency, the primary political commodities of any state.
The Court is composed of the Imperial Family, Royalty, and Nobility.
Our official figurehead and scapegoat is His Magnificent Glorious Infinite-Times Born Presence High Lord Master Commander Phollop Bleeding Toe.
Holding joint non-power with these two powers of government are the Cabinet Ministers:
- Chris Omillian: Minister of Religion
- Drizzt Dal'Varren: Department of Public Safety
- Alan Donahoe: Czar of Anti-Taxation
- Cade Kelly-Hughes: Ministry of War
- Maximillanius Gerbils: Director of Intelligence
- Kaylee Shawn Roumas: Official First Citizen
Decision of the Court affect only the Court itself. Any Council of Freelandian citizens may elect to ratify Court policy as it's own.
Any gathering of two or more Freelandian citizens constitute a Council and may make decisions affecting only the members of that Council by Parliamentary procedure.
Any Council may elect to contradict decisions made by the Court.
Several religions exist among the Freelandian people.
The mythos and tenets of this religion are set down in the Gnostic Gospel of Tessa, a non-extant text allegedly written on turtle shells discovered in the now defunct nation of Kraplakistan. labyrinthus
It is currently led by Pope Omillian I, who incidentally also serves as Freelandia's Minister of Religion, making Gnostic Tessaism the de facto if not the de jure religion of Freelandia.
The Gnostic Gospel of Tessa teaches that the local world of Freelandia (but not the entirety of the cosmos) was created by a false demiurge named Tessa the Depressed. Tessa decieved the whole of ancient Freelandia into believing that she was a truly divine being.
After an age of darkness, the semi-immortal being Chris Omillian was sent by the True God to destroy ignorance. He discovered the Gnostic Gospel and penned it's tenets.
The primary belief as taught by the Pope and the Gnostic Gospel is killing yourself. Two widely differing camps of belief interpret this: the first camp takes it literally and believes suicide to be a sacrament, while the second camp interprets it in an existential, philosophical sense and seeks to destroy the false self of ignorance.
Alcohol, psychedelics, and tobacco are all venerated as holy sacraments.
The Orthodox Commandments
- Thou shalt abhor cheese allergies.
- Thou shalt detest not getting laid.
- Thou shalt find an eternal companion before the age of thirty.
- Thou shalt fail to honor the false goddess Tessa the Depressed.
- Thou shalt never go to TGIF alone.
- Thou shalt sacrifice Revan.
Protestant Movement was founded by Director of Intelligence Maximillanius Gerbils as a reaction to the excesses of the Orthodox Church and some of it's beliefs. Protestant adherents do not believe in Tessa's divinity, either inherent or assumed; rather, Protestants believe that she was only a well-intentioned woman and instead only acknowledge the one divinity.
The First Holy True Apostolic Acidified and Shroomed Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Orthodox 420, United in Holy Witness a la David Bowie.
The Shorter Catechism
Q: What does it mean to say "First"?
A: We are the first ones to do this thing, to appear in this kind of scene. Q: What does it mean to say "True "?
A: The truth is here, and we are it.
Q: What does it mean to say "Holy"?
A: Theology is full of holes and we accept it! Fill it with something useful - like answers.
Q: What does it mean to say "Apostolic"?
A: We follow the path of those who went before us and plow/blaze our own.
Q: What does it mean to say "Acidified"?
A: Acid asks the questions
Q: What does it mean to say "Shroomed"?
A: Mushrooms provides the answers.
Q: What does it mean to say "Church"?
A: We're an assembly of believers.
Q: What does it mean to say "Jesus Christ"?
A: Jesus was The Real Shit. He wasn't down with any of the ridiculousness of the religious folk. He parties hard with whores, liars, thieves, charlatans, and tax collectors. His first recorded miracle was turning water to wine. That should tell you something. When asked about religion (the "Law" as the Pharisees said), Jesus gave them a righteous, metaphorical slap in the mouth and told them to love God and love each other. That's all there is to it.
Q: What does it mean to say "Latter-day"?
A: We do This Thing here and now. The Former Day has gone by. We are now in the Latter Day.
Q: What does it mean to say "Saints"?
A: Any God as righteous as the one we talk about has already forgiven us. We repent, we follow that quintessential Love He talked about. We are saints, not sinners.
Q: What does it mean to say "Orthodox 420"?
A: We religiously observe the use of cannabis.
Q: What does it mean to say "United"?
A: We're all goddamn one, man!
Q: What is meant by Holy Witness?
A: Each and every one of us are on our own paths and we should stay stronger together rather than break apart separately. Every disciple has a testimony of truth. That testimony remains strong as long as it is founded in truth.
Q: What is meant by David Bowie?
Ziggy Stardust (Sallallahu alayhi wa Salam) was a cosmic being sent down from space to show us a divine and greater truth. He reminds us of the babe.
The official common unit of exchange among Freelandians is the bottlecap. This was innovated by Aaron the Ultimate.
Freelandia declared itself on 7 July 2017, a date otherwise known as Zion Day.
27 October Movement
On 27 October 2017, in the presence of King Phollop, approximately half of the Freelandian citizenry laid claim to it's first physical piece of land located in Jackson County, Missouri. Coincidental to this act, the citizenry swore fealty to His Magnificent Glorious Infinite-Times Born Presence High Lord Master Commander King Phollop and formed the People's Front For Phollopian Dictatorship (PFPD).
Members of the People's Front prefer to use the Second Flag of Freelandia, also called the Revolutionary Banner.
On 2 April, shots were fired and civil war began. The Pope led the Department of Public Safety and a single citizen on an invasion of foreign territory. The Minister of Information, Maximillanius Gerbils held the popular front and enjoyed kenotic command of both the Ministry of War and Czardom of Anti-Taxation.
on 29 April 2018, Maximillanius Gerbils declared the end of the "old anti-republic" and the beginning of a new anti-Empire. He thrust forth this declaration:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Freelandians are created free, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Eternal Life, Truth, Liberty, and the Pursuit of the Greatest Happiness.
That to secure these rights, Anti-Empires are instituted among Freelandians, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of self-government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Self-Government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their libertas et charitas.
Providence, (wubba lubba dub dub dub), will dictate that Anti-Empires long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that Freelandians have been made to suffer too much evil.
Therefore because of this long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, which evinces a design to reduce Freelandians under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to declare Empire.
Waffle House is an internationally recognized embassy of all Freelandian people everywhere.
The Sancti Imperii ex Skywalkistan declared war on Freelandia for unknown reasons. The Minister of Information is therefore asking for all Freelandians to unite against this common threat.