Text (in Stretched English):
Hyrbi, thy yleven brovinses of Stretch dyklare that they are their own nashon. Nobody has abbroved of their kulture yven tho there is nothing wrong with rubber bands. They kan and wil govern over themselves. Therefore, Stretch shoud by allowed to make their own kountry built on rubber, wich shal by a Utopya for al! I, Hakym Gy, found thy Kingdom of Stretch, and name miself thy prime band aid. Unlike macronashons, Stretch will allow anybody intoo thy country.